netjeff.com Humor collection Homeless woman goes public

===================================================================
[                 --==  TopFive.com Presents  ==--                ]
[           T  H  E    D  A  I  L  Y     P  R  O  B  E            ]
===================================================================

                         December 12, 1999

    Please attach the following line to any forwarded portions:
    [  Copyright 1999 by Chris White     info@dailyprobe.com  ]


              HOMELESS WOMAN GOES PUBLIC AT $2 BILLION

NEW YORK, NY (DPI) - Citing her untapped potential and million-
eyeballs-per-day hit rate, Goldman Sachs today took a Grand Central 
homeless woman public in the latest billion dollar Internet IPO. 
"Greta Henderson, through her strategic positioning at the exit 
of the Flushing-bound 7 train, has one of the highest eyeball hit 
rates in all of New York City. Every morning, noon, and night she 
has the attention of some of the most valuable eyeballs in all of 
cyberspace. Key home decision makers, business officers, and 
members of the government all see her and her offering of assorted 
pencils for sale. Her ratio of hits per product is astounding and 
is the envy of all Internet sites."

This first round of financing will be used to buy more products 
for her to sell. Some ideas are for packs of batteries and maybe 
a chirping toy cell phone. "That ability to instantly triple her 
available merchandise is something I could not find in the 
Microsofts and the Yahoos of the world" said R. Tripp Stuggles, 
of Goldman Sachs. "The growth potential for Greta is almost 
unlimited, in fact, and I expect her to reach the $10 billion 
market cap in no time at all."

Before Greta was able to comment, she was bought out by Amazon.com 
for $250 million in venture capitalist cash. Amazon will announce 
its new "h-Shops, Where Homeless Folks Shop" feature next week.

- Reported by Chris Troise

netjeff.com Humor collection Homeless woman goes public