netjeff.com Humor collection A Cowboy's Guide To Life

by Texas Bix Bender

~ There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

~ Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is
probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

~ If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin'
somebody else's dog around.

~ After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started
roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral:
When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

~ If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

~ Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

~ Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.

~ Always drink upstream from the herd.

~ Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

~ If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and
then to make sure it's still there.

~ Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it
back.

~ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it
back in your pocket.

~ Never miss a good chance to shut up.

netjeff.com Humor collection A Cowboy's Guide To Life